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Ugh, work - partly quiet, partly very busy, so it's half dusting, half running around. Bit tiring, really. But only four days until the first half of my summer vacation, and the weather forecast promises a cold weather front, yay! That's what I like!

So, writing front: ugh also. Since I'm having trouble getting started, here's the public carrot post that worked so well during Camp:

1. If the HBB fic is finished by next Sunday, 4th of June, I can order one (1) lipstick (which I didn't get from Camp Nano) - Absolution Pure Pink nro. 7, or Zuii Organics Cashmere

2. Remix posted at any time before the deadline, as in the Midsummer Weekend, and I can buy one (1) item from Estelle & Thild -series, no matter how expensive (as in I want the night cream from that line)

I'll write these on sticky notes and stick them somewhere I can see - Look where you want to go, and then go!
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Ugh, I'm completely blocked on the Hobbit Big Bang fic. I didn't even have the courage to open the file and read through the 3/4 of the story I had. I had four days free this week, and I did everything but write. Gah! So now I have long days for the next five days, so it will be even harder to find time to write (though when it's quiet at the store and I'm just cleaning, that's a great time to think about the story).

Part of the problem might be that I don't have a clear deadline at the moment like I had in April with Camp. According the timetable the posting for BB should start at June, but the mod haven't posted anything in the community since April, so hard to know what's supposed to happen. Of course it would be best to have the story finished in next few days, just in case, but apparently my writing brain is not on board with that plan. Damn.

And another writing conundrum: I looked through my remix assigment, and I got clear and immediate idea what I wanted to write. Here's the problem: last time I went with such idea, the fic turned out bit...disliked? So now I'm pretty gun-shy on immediate ideas, because they tend to land me in hot water. Except clear and immediate ideas are great; easy to start writing, and they propel you when you get stuck! That's why I would like to keep the idea, but...Hot water.

I'll brainstorm some other ideas, see if the immediate one holds up. Also, the Big Bang. Editing and rewriting that is more urgent, timetable wise.
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So, I went to see GoTG vol.2 and guess what? First I laughed so hard that I cried, and then I just plain cried.

Goddammit. They got me good! And the reviews were like, 'this isn't as good as vol.1' - pfft! It was brilliant, and I wish I had gone sooner because now I don't have a chance to see it again because I'll be working evenings. Well, I'll be most certainly getting the Blu-Ray the second it comes out, that's for sure.

I've been working on the HBB fic, and I think I have a good idea how to land on an ending, though I'm not quite sure what the ending will be - romantic, or just 'let's take it slow and be friends'. The problem is, that all this time I've been thinking I've been writing a romantic story, but I don't think it is, not really. So that's why the end is hard to figure out, because I don't really know what the start is either.

Maybe if I read it through with a critical eye, and see if I could tweak it in some clear category, the end would appear! Fingers crossed.
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I'm suddenly and completely addicted to 'Canada's Worst Driver' -show. Damn Netflix! /shakes fist to the sky

It is a terrible show with a heart of reality gold, and I always fall for those like a big heart-eyed doofus. See also: Masterchef:Australia, The Block, House Rules, My Kitchen Rules, Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (yet another Netflix treasure) and on and on.

Oh, but Canada's Worst Driver. I don't have a driver's licence and I have never driven a car (well, once on the private road to a summer cottage when I was like four, but mostly it was dad driving, me sitting on his lap and pretending to steer, so that doesn't count) and even I know some of the stuff those drivers do are completely, utterly bonkers insane. It's horrible! I can't stop watching!

In another news, Unconventional Courtship is coming back this summer! Yay! :D Wonder if I could finish that Alex/Hank story this time? I can't let it go! I can't finish it either! It's just there, forever going on and on in agonizing romance hell!

I need to do what they keep saying in the CWD: look where you want to go (and then you will go there). I'm sure that applies both driving and writing. Right?
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May has started in a chilly weather - and I love it! :D I have woolly socks on, that's amazing. There is actual minus celcius degrees at night! Love it (because I can push window washing to June :P Too cold!)

Other than that, I've been writing a lot in a desperate attempt to get my HBB fic as close to finished as possible, but I think I have to admit a defeat on that and send what I have to my artist - it's hardly fair to make them wait when I'm stuck with the ending. Most of the story is together, so I think they can get a pretty good idea what the story is about? I hope?

The upside is of course that I've been writing a lot! That's amazing, and I wish I can keep going with that, it feels really good.

Next weekend is my mother's birthday party, and I'm so NOT looking forward to that, because there will be lots of relatives that I don't care about and I have to muster some inner will to be polite to, so. Exhausting. Though it's also the Eurovision weekend, so there's that to look forward to!

I'm trying to focus on the positive side here :D
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NaNo Camp is done, and I finished in the grand number of 11 112! (Complete accident, not by design - though ending in eleven would've been fun :D)

But the panicked writing still continues, because I promised the person who claimed my story in the Bang that I would mail the finished thing to them this week. And it's not finished you see, because I'm trying to rapidly rewrite it. Oops?

So, not the greatest use of time I've ever had, for example I had 9 (!) zero days during NaNo, and with even 500 words a day I could have had 4.5K done. But no! Can't have that, need to leave everything to last possible minute...

Better not waste anymore time then! Typing, quick smart!
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I got a new, short hair-do - my head feels oddly light, even though I didn't have very long hair before. The hairdresser showed me how to do curls by using the straightening iron (my mom is having a big birthday shindig this year, so I needed some help for fancier look) and it looked so simple! And I'm sure I can never do it myself! I need to practice for few weeks, see if I can replicate it.

Also I need to find a pretty skirt, shoes and some sort of glittery head piece or hair pin - I feel like that's fancy enough and won't blow my budget, since I also need to find a present and book a hotel room for the weekend.

So lots to do! And it's the last week of Camp Nano, and I want to get this fic beaten into submission - I have easy week coming up, so I have time to write too /knock on wood

Dinner, coffee and writing, in that order!
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Oh, this week has gone terribly writing wise. I'm still stuck in the little over 10K - official Camp Nano win right there, so maybe that squashed my motivation? So no chance on the lipstick. One more week to earn it until Camp is over, darn it.

Ok, I have to admit that I have made wrong choices all week - when I had time to write, I chose to do something else that was not really important. Rookie mistake! Writing time is for writing, that's the rule number one during any Nano.

Sigh. We need to rally, writing brain!
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I didn't reach the lipstick-goal - second week in a row, boo. But it's a new week, a new try; 7K in Sunday the 23th, and the lipstick is mine! (Or possibly mascara, because I'm running out of that, and Zuii Organics has a great one that I like)

I did however reach the 10K goal, so I can go order the raw chocolate I wanted! I'm probably going to go with Lovechock, Loving Earth, or the best, the glorious, Pana Chocolate - piece of that is like revelation what chocolate can truly be.

So, I've got three zero days in a row, but I need to get past this slump because the artist claims have started in the Big Bang, and in the of chance someone claims mine, it would be nice to have a piece ready for them to read and get an idea of the story. Camp Rewrite for this week, I think.

But first, a bit of celebration about 10K! Yay! :D
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I'm 197 words away from 10K and NOW my writing brain decides its done with this whole Nano thing.

Oh, c'mon! I could order bunch of delicious raw chocolate bars, if only there was 197 words more - and if there was whole 4K more by tomorrow, I could get the lipstick! Think of the lipstick, writing brain?!? (writing brain doesn't care, that's the problem)

I got the HBB rough draft send in time, but now I don't like how I changed my original Unconventional Courtship -concept, and I want to change it back - which means rewriting the whole thing. Not a problem in a way that I planned to do that anyway, but I had an ending in mind and now it all has to be rehauled. Ugh. Maybe that's why the writing brain is stumped.

Oh, idea: if I eat some raw chocolate, it will jolt my writing brain to work, because there's no more chocolate until that 10K is done. 197! That's nothing, this darn post is longer than that!
C'mon!
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I didn't reach my "10K by Sunday" reward - it's Sunday, I have to go to work, there's no more I can do, so no lipstick for me. Boo.

But I do have about 7K, so that's really great! Considering that I haven't written a drop this year, it's amazing wordcount. I'm really happy with that, even though I'm not really excited about the story - I'm hammering it together, but of course it's feeling forced when I'm forcing it to happen.

I think I'm going to switch gears for the next Camp week, and work on the "Gentleman Behind the Veil" from last summer.

So new wager: 7K (1K a day) until next Sunday, and the lipstick shall be mine!
(whatever more I manage to write today won't count)

I've chosen the lipstick already, it's Zuii Organics 'Cashmere', so I can go look at the picture occasionally and admire it - surprisingly motivating! :D
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It's April, and that means Camp Nano!

I had a good start, I'm trying to get the Hobbit Big Bang together since that deadline is the closest (though there haven't been any activity at the community since February, so I'm not sure if the Bang is still going forward or not...But I'm writing my story anyway, because why not? It would be great to finish a story this year) I have a rough outline about what needs to happen and when, so I can just write whatever bit I feel like and I can string the story together when I edit.

The cabin seems nice, not terribly chatty but that's fine, we are all busy writing after all!

And now my official Camp Nano -carrot for myself: I can order three (3) bars of expensive raw chocolate when I hit the 10K mark, and if I hit it before the 9th, I can also order one (1) cosmetic item from the same shop (including, but not limited to, a lipstick).

Now, let's write! :D
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I have discovered the deliciousness that's tea with a wedge of lemon! I'm a strict 'milk and sugar' with my aproach to tea, but I bought lemons because I wanted to try baking a pie (I know! Me! Baking! The end is nigh). Anyway, I only needed the peel, so then I was left with the actual lemon flesh to use. I plopped wedge into my tea and wow. It's tart, but it enhances the tea flavor, so when you happen to have a good tea to start with, then...Yum!

Also the pie turned out alright - it's the quark pie that my mom used to make when we were kids, and I happened to find the recipe (my mom lost her copy when she moved, and she didn't remember the name of the pie). It was delicious, but even when I split the recipe in half, I still had a big tray of it - maybe too much pie for one person. But I baked something and it was edible, so whoo! :D Success!

Huzzah!

Mar. 12th, 2017 03:00 pm
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I've been writing! Actual words in an actual page of the notebook!

I just wrote something, and now I'm trying to stay cool and not freak out, in case that the mood passes and I can't get back in to it. Knock on wood, fingers crossed, salt over the shoulder! (Rationally I know that writing isn't actually a luck based thing, but really, why take the chance)

The Hobbit Big Bang story has to be in some sort of readable form in start of April when the artist claims start, so it's a bloody time I get stuck in that. I had an idea I feel excited about, and I'm hoping it will carry to the end.

So yay, writing! :D
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I've been working a lot lately and I've been so tired when I get home that I haven't even opened the writing document. And I really need to stuck into the Hobbit Big Bang, because I don't have a clear idea, so I need time to try things out.

Also, some great fics that I liked got deleted, and now I'm feeling really sad about it - I've never had that experience before, believe it or not. I didn't really start reading fics until my own writing was so tangled up and blocked that I couldn't even look at my files without having conniptions. Anyway, it was a strange thing to go look for a fic that was just there and now its gone. :(

I got a new jar of Lion's Mane -powder, hopefully few mornings of that in my coffee and my brain is back online again.
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Well, writing isn't going very well and I feel like I've tried everything possible to break through this stupid writer's block. Blargh, urgh, blah. Every time I start writing, my inner critic rushes over to point out that everything I write is stupid and will be most definetly hated and mocked.
So, how do you shut up the inner critic? With a ball gag?

Work has been nice though, and I had a fun gift-card shopping spree with all the birthday and Christmas presents - I got the new KonMari book with even more tips and tricks, and several brands of fancy organic coffee. Now I just have to return to my KonMari project - the books says that's it fine to take a break if you need one, just keep the end goal in mind and it's easer to get back to the tidying (I suppose that is a fine advice for writing as well).

We got a new brand of salt soaps at work, and we all got a tester - I think I'm going to go have a luxorious soak. Good way to spent the Monday evening, right?
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I started writing the Hobbit Big Bang idea, and I'm using some of the NaNoWriMo crawls for it. I'm trying not to get too worried about if it's any good or any of that stuff, I'm only trying to get some words at this point.

My niece turned one year old this week, good grief! What happened with time? o.O Before I know she'll be going to Uni or something... I send her some books, can't have too many books. Also her tactic to attack literature is to gnaw the books, so I thought it's not that bad if she gets several copies of the same thing.

I happened to get a bookshop gift card for my birthday, I was thinking maybe I should buy the new KonMari book - since my KonMari project has gone to a stand still. I should get back to it, when I have next day off...

But writing first!
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I signed up for the Hobbit Big Bang, now I need to start planning! I haven't really written anything this year, even though I wanted to go back to the slowly progressing daily wordcount thing I did last year.
I'll start today! (promise)

On happy bureacracy news, there was a drop in the general housing allowance that I get, but I didn't loose it completely, yay! And I got a new job contract for this year with a bit more hours promised, so hopefully the Public Employment Services don't bother with me (I'm working more, they should be pleased?).

Yep, so, I'm going to get right on that writing thing.
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Darn, I want to sign up to that, even if I promised myself that no more exchanges. Though technically speaking, I would be keeping that promise since it's a Big Bang, not an exchange (as such). Very different things!

I'm not sure if I have a workable idea, though. I have some bits and pieces in my notebook that i could work further, plus I've always wanted to try writing a modern Middle-earth. I could come up with something.

Well, maybe I decide tomorrow, when the 2017 is officially here. Happy New Year!
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Starting in January, the governement is bringing up "new" ways to deal with the unemployed - mostly it's just buttload of the same old bureacracy that the Public Employment Services have tried to get rid of, mostly because that type of bureacracy costs a lot, wastes everyones time and doesn't help any. So. /roll eyes
(Though my friend was excited, mainly because she's hoping to get a job at the PES office, so now that they are faced with tons of work, maybe they'll hire more people :P)

I don't know if these new bureacratic measures affect me or not, and that's pretty stressful. I have a part-time job, so possibly in the PES point of view I am employed (they might not differentiate how much work you have, just that you have it) and they won't bother me with the new bureacracy. Or the new orders include everyone listed at PES, in which case I can expect hilarious phone calls in the lines of: "Tell me your plans to find a job? - I already have a job - alright, I'll call again in three months."

Sigh. Well, there's no point to worry about it, since bureacracy works in the mysterious ways that we are not supposed to understand, only marvel.

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