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The sale season is heating up - and soon over, too. We predicted that today and tomorrow will be the busiest days, bit unsure how Saturday and Sunday shape up, but we'll see then. At least all the seasonal items have been packed and crammed on the shelves, so it's just the matter of selling them all - no one wants Christmas flavors after Christmas, that's just how it is.

So, I've been chugging roseroot to stay calm and pleasant in the middle of annoying co-workers and the press of customers (who are mostly very nice though), which leads to wild dreams!

Last night I had a dream that I had a mutant ability, which was to fix small appliances with touch! (like toasters and electric tea kettles) That would be neat, and in the dream I fixed a broken fridge just like that :D Hilarious. Well done sleeping brain, I was very entertained by this dream.

Uh, month is almost over, time has gone so fast. It's almost year 2019, and I haven't started to think how to draw up my Bujo - I want to make some yearly goals, but considering I barely got one yearly goal done this year, I'm probably keeping that list VERY short. >.< I just want the feel of accomplishment, that's all!

I'm already dreading January, I always get some bad news in January, and I can't predict at all in which way that bad news is coming this time.

Well, let's get this Christmas season done, and then stress about what's coming.
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Holy fuck that one person at work, she's really pushing my buttons. Mind, I haven't had a single shift with her, and I won't have to until my last day (good thing too), and yet.

She was back for her usual 'it's my day off, but here I am to drink free coffee for two hours' -thing, and so was our other part-timer (I mean, seriously, wtf), and for some reason they wanted to stand around exactly where I was busy working and gossip about something that had happened on Saturday shift, but in some oblique way - point being that I wouldn't understand what they were talking about (while standing right next to me, on purpose. And I mean right next to me, as in bumping my shoulder close). So, I asked what they were talking about, since I wanted them to either realize I was there and heard them, so they could either fuck off or shut up (preferably fuck off so I had room to work).

And this woman says to me: "We won't tell you, you are not part of our secret society".

I should have said: "Good, since this isn't a fucking kindergarten, this is a work place - where I'm actually working, and you are just spending time and slurping free coffee, so fuck right off."
But instead I just laughed and turned back to my work, because whatever. I get paid to work, not fix this mental asylum this shop is.

I never get upset in the moment, it's always the next day when I start getting angry for this type of bullshit, when I have time to think back and look at the situation at the distance.

Maybe first time ever, I'm really looking forward for the mad rush of customers, so I can just focus on them and ignore the co-workers, they are obviously the only source of stress this time around.
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The strangeness with the co-worker continues. I haven't shared a shift with her, but I've listened for HOURS her talking at me (not with me, because it might be her day off, but it is NOT mine, and I'm working on the Christmas products that I have to get packed before the end of this month and I'm rushed as is - I'm not stopping to talk with her).

So yesterday I was working in my corner (I have counter space with all the supplies for the packing and I'm pretty much stuck there unless customers come in) and for the second time (!!!) this week she shows up to stand next to me and talk talk talk. I'm barely listening because I'm working, and after awhile I realize that she's badmouthing the other part-timer to me, and I'm like...WTF. I was so stunned that I didn't do anything, but now that I think of it, I should've said firmly that her behavior is way out of line and I'm not going to listen to this at all.

It's not my business whats going on between them (they both have worked there for a long time), and there is no reason to tell me this. And badmouthing someone behind their back, to someone they know and work with? That's a shit thing to do. Talk with your friends who doesn't know/work with this person, and vent there if you want to unpack some petty dispute!

This shop is one big headache, good thing they pay well and there's not long to go before Christmas season is over.

Shop, Stop!

Nov. 3rd, 2018 08:10 am
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Two days behind in the new job, bit mixed feelings. Everyone seems nice and friendly, there's plenty of stuff to do (well, I just started doing things and no one objected, so...) but they have their own way of doing things that sometimes I have to wonder what is going on. Mostly because some practices go so against what I've been taught to be right, that I'm just baffled that someone would do that (for example, money in the cash register should always be in certain order and the bills facing right way up - basic sales stuff 101, right? Here they don't seem to care one way or other o.O It was all willy-nilly! Wtf?)

But I don't feel like I can point stuff out (and does it even matter, since I'll be there for what, six weeks? And the group has done things their way for years and years), so I've tried to bite my tongue. Ok, my anxiety flipped from that money thing, so I did kind of point out that money should be handled certain way - don't know if anyone listened though, because some time later I noticed someone had left the cash register half-closed so that money was showing but left the register area. Like... WTF?!? Sure, there was no customers at the moment, but really, if you do nothing else as a sales person, guard the fucking money, holy hell.

Uuh... The older I get, the more I want my own shop where I can do things the way I bloody well like, seriously. Too bad small shops are a dying breed, so not a smart career thing, this.

Anyways. I started NaNo just for the heck of it, and I have managed 1667 both days, yay :D If I get 5K today, I promised myself I can buy some make-up; maybe new lipstick even! Ooh :D
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Yay, I got an excellent job for the Christmas season!

It's practically full hours, and they don't have a problem if I continue doing the one shift a week for the bra shop as well (and the bra shop owner didn't have a problem that I looked for another job either, so win-win!). It's going to be busy, but I'm so excited! It's only two months, but the pay is good and I really like the shop, so all in all, it's a real stroke of luck! Yay :D

Phew, this is a such a relief, I was worried I wouldn't find anything, and that would've been such a big disappointment because Christmas season is the best time to find sales jobs. Now I can save some money for next year, and maybe get new glasses!

Oh, I'm so happy about this :D
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I've been doing very well on weekly budgeting - I finally found a way to mark everything on my bujo that works for me (and doesn't take ages, and doesn't make me feel bad if I forget). So I've been on track, and even going under my weekly goal!

Which of course means it's time for the Weird Spending Day! It always happens, and at first I tried to stop it and felt bad when I failed, because it felt like I had failed to whole budgeting idea. But now I'm trying to think it as necessary flexibility. Bit of out-of-budget spending is fine if I look it at the monthly level, as long as it's one time only, and I don't go overboard with it.

So September W.S.D. today, and I bought Deadpool 2 blu-ray, mango marmalade and a calligraphy pen! Yeah, I don't know either, that's the weird part of the spending day XD

And now to draft next month's bujo pages and watch Deadpool!
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Well, my landlord had no actual business at all, they just wanted to come say hello and see if there was anything to discuss >.< I was tempted to tell them not to call and give such ominous messages as 'there's something I must discuss with you face to face' when they mean 'I want to come by and check the place since I'm in town'. But I was nice and polite as is proper.

Fucking hell, I was so anxious about this whole thing for a week, and it was all for nothing. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Also, I've been looking for Christmas season jobs, and I'm especially keeping my fingers crossed for one who are offering full hours for December. That would be great, I'm hoping they would at least ask me for an interview!

So, that has been my week. I need to lie down and listen some calming nature sounds for an hour.
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My landlord called to ask if I was available week from now for her to visit - she wants to "make a request face to face". So that's bloody ominous. >.< It's either: a) the rent is going up, or b) she's telling me to leave.

What else could it be? It's not like we have anything else to talk about (she lives across the country, and I pay my rent like clockwork, so we actually shouldn't have anything to discuss, let alone face to face.)

Fuck my life. I can't afford to pay much more, I'm already living very tightly (no new jobs in the horizon beside the bra shop) and I can afford even less to move! Not to mention autumn is the worst time to start looking for a new place in a Uni town, there's new students looking for flats everywhere! Oh it's going to be a mess, I'm getting anxious to even think about it.

And now I have to wait a week to see what she wants, fuck.
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It was the final of Masterchef Australia - the season is over, I'm sad :(

My favorite didn't win, but the final was great all the same - and the winner did amazing job! The final dish was a Heston Blumenthal dessert, so he did make an appearance after all! (the Gordon Ramsay week turned out to be as early as week three or four, and it was pretty different and entertaining :D)

I liked this season, since it was the 10th anniversary of Masterchef, there was a lot of cameos from the former contestants, and nods to some of the iconic moments - Adriano Zumbo was back, with a croquembouche challenge of course!

Sigh. Another year until the new season :( I wish they would make another season of All Stars, or some other type of special show between seasons, but understandably everybody is busy running their restaurants and so worth.

Oh, did I tell you that during the week when we closed the shop, I saw a dream where Matt Preston gave me a hug, and told me hang in there? :D Thank you, subconscious, excellent choice of uplifting dreams! Matt Preston does seem like he would give great hugs, and he always gives excellent speeches as well.
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It has been a massive heat wave around these parts since June, and the weather forecast says that it might keep going well into the mid-August (it is the longest heatwave we have had since they started to keep of track of these things). So that's terrible.

But what's not terrible, is that I got a new job! It's just a part-time with very few hours (basically every Saturday + if the owner wants to take days off) but it's something! The store is next to my old store, and the owner just stopped when she saw me walking past, and asked if I was interested to do the weekend shifts for her - I have never been recruited like so, 'I seem alright sales person, come work for me' XD

So now I'm selling...*drum roll* Bras! :D Very different, but it's interesting to work with a completely new category of things. And I like it, now that I'm getting the hang of it!

And maybe if I could catch another part-time job, things would be alright-ish - except I'm afraid that everyone just wants a part-timer for the weekends - there is only so many hours in a one Saturday after all...
Well, hopefully I can find something.

Oh, and Camp Nano was a complete failure, I think I manage something like 1K and that was that :( Bugger.
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Final sales are not easy, goddamn. I knew that, but still it surprised me. (I probably shouldn't mention in CV that now I have done final sale & closed down a shop three separate times? Though it does show that I'm a scrappy survivor? Or possibly cursed. I mean, when I reach the three year mark, the shop goes under. Is it me, or just bad luck?)

Monday was the worst, the line to the cash register ran around the shop, and it stayed the same all day. It was hectic and exhausting, not to mention that there was an incredible mess left behind from people trampling through. Our beautiful store, that I took such care to look after, torn to pieces like its nothing.

So, when we closed the door behind us, I pretty much crumbled on the spot and started to cry - in the middle of the shopping mall. Yay. (Ask me if I had waterproof mascara on, I dare you)

Yesterday was both better and worse - less people because we cleared bulk of our storage on Monday, but more of our regular customers coming in to tell how sorry they are that the store is closing, and how are we holding up? One bit odd but nice regular held my hand and wished me best of luck - and fuck, I almost cried again (good thing I was too shocked by the surprise hand shake to really react). I put up a brave face, and waited all the way home to cry this time. Progress!

So today we just have cleaning up left to do - it is still undecided what will happen to the shop interior (shelves, cash register, dish washer, coolers, that sort of things - and there is tons of little bits and bobs that keep a store running behind the scenes, you would not believe), but it won't be our problem, it's our last day. I can pretty much guarantee that I will also cry today, the exciting bit is at which point? Maybe I'll try the street, just to shake things up a bit.

I'm really getting into this crying business, I might have a go tomorrow too, you know, just for the heck of it - what goes better together than crying and unemployment bureaucracy?
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Ah, the time of year when Finns start heading out to the summer cabins, and get down some serious drinking! (It's like Christmas, except we drink outside, instead inside). Then next week we get the reports how many people died in the traffic collisions, drownings, drunken foolery and overall random violence - heat wave, national holiday and cheap beer in the woods = not good.

Anyway, to keep with the pessimistic spirit, my job is officially gone (there is small possibility that the chain will open a new store, but honestly at this point, I doubt it). We'll have a final sale on Monday and hopefully we can sell the store empty, then it's just a question of clearing the space (it should be the chain's responsibility, but I'm suspect it will fall on us - though, if we get paid to tear down everything, I'll do it, no problem).

I made a list of different stores where to send a job applications, so I will get on that asap. So, after next week, I have been part of three final sales and closing down stores - that is perhaps something I shouldn't let my future employers know? XD I might be cursed o.O

Work Stuff

Jun. 15th, 2018 09:44 am
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Finally things started move forward in the work front. Yesterday we started the inventory, and our store is closed for the unforeseeable future as the lawyers start to negotiate about the future with the chain managers. If they reach agreement, we will open again, or if not, we will hold a final sale and clear out the store.

I don't know what our customers might be thinking, since we only told about the store being closed for inventory but if we are closed much further next week I'm sure the rumor mill starts to churn. And I'm anticipating that someone from our regulars might stop me in the street and ask about it, which would be pretty awkward since it's not like I can talk about it. (I don't know what will happen, what's there to talk about?)

It's just such a weird feeling - was yesterday my last day? Or not? I'm both sad and upset, and cautiously hopeful at the same time, which is confusing.

Luckily my best friend is coming for a visit, it's good to have something else to think about, so I don't end up obsessing about this work stuff for the whole weekend. I'm already having trouble sleeping for thinking about this, I don't need to do the same through the days too.

And there's always the soccer world cup going, if nothing else helps :D Three games a day, that's a lot of soccer!
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I've signed up for Kink Bingo card, my yearly attempt to break through my porn writing block. So far it haven't worked, but I can't stop trying either. C'mon writing brain! Even 500 words of smut would do!

The Unconventional Courtship is also open, but the posting is in August so there isn't a big rush to sign up. It would be a good deadline if I chose a day now, though. Especially since 'Marriage of Rogues' (the UC Charles/Hank fic I wrote during Nano) is halfway rewritten, and if I just picked it up again, I could post it! Ooh...

Nothing new on the job front - things will move forward on the second week, and I hope we will know relatively soon if we are closing or not. And then...Who knows. I know I should prepare, but I'm just trying not to think about it too much.

Anyway. Writing projects! I'm trying to get excited /forced cheer
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Something is finally being decided about the future of our store. I don't know if it will be good new or bad, but after five months of anxious and stressful waiting, I'm ready to just know.

I'll try to trust that it will be fine either way; if the store is closed, I will find a new job, or if the store stays, it will be fine under the new management.

It's just this bloody not knowing that gets me anxious - I function much better when I know the reality of the situation.

Fingers crossed that I still have a job next month.
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Well, we didn't do so well at Eurovision - second last, business as usual. Boo :(

The media kept hammering in the point that Saara had the most professionally designed pop song & performance, her own fan base and plenty of media coverage, that she has been working tirelessly just for this all spring - so she should've gotten enough points to get, if not top ten, at least somewhere between 10th to 20th middle ground.

...And she finishes second to last (25th).

So the Swedish model of crafting the perfect pop product didn't work for us. I wonder what will happen next year, what sort of performance can we send after that one - and who even wants to go anymore? Maybe some sort of feel-good eccentric art project -type of thing? So that when we land at the bottom again, we can at least claim that we created an original art experience :D

I think I'll go listen last years Eurovision songs, I liked those way better than this years crop.
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It's May, so that means Masterchef Australia starts! AND House Rules Australia as well!

I'm so excited, especially about the Masterchef. It's the 10th season and their tagline this year is 'Season Of Surprises', so I can't wait to see what that might mean. The opening sequence looked pretty amazing (of course, it's the 'trailer' of sorts so they would put the best bits in there) - I heard about Gordon Ramsay coming, and it looked like it's going to be a Gordon week (but no clips of Heston, so maybe Ramsay is there instead of him?) Frankly, the first minute of Masterchef Australia was more interesting than the whole season of Masterchef Finland (which was about as engaging as watching beige paint dry).

And House Rules started with a special episode, and it already looked like there is going to be some strife - I hope there won't be the same level of asshole behavior as last year, because it went way overboard. And Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen returned as a judge, so that's going to be fun! :D Can't wait to see what happens.

And of course, it's EUROVISION time! :D The first semi-final is tonight, the other on Thursday, and the final on Saturday night. Fun!
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I finished Camp in 10K - which is a win in sense that I dropped the goal to that at the last minute, but a loss in a sense that I started with the aim of 25K. I also had a goal of no zero days, and I didn't get that either, this week has been nothing but zero days :(

But 10K still, that's good! Positive thoughts! (... it has been very hard to have those lately)

I've been drawing up the May Bujo pages, and I'm trying to think some goals to have. Stuff at work hasn't changed much, still a lot of questions up in the air. It's really stressful not to know what is going to happen, so I've been really cautious with goals, because I don't know what the situation will be in a month or two or three.

A lot of stuff is out of my control, so I try not to worry about them too much - and focus more on those things that I can control. I have brushed up my resumé, and written up a few versions of work applications. There isn't any jobs open at the moment, but there might be in a month or two or three. (Hopefully.)

I'm going to try to think positive thoughts. And now, to toast the end of Camp Nano - ice cold bottle of aloe vera water! Yum :) Delicious!
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Camp NaNo is going bit too slowly - I've managed to write every day, but the word counts has been less than 500 words. So, I lowered the end goal :( Bit of a disappointment, but 15K is good too, right? And Camp Nano is more relaxed with goals than NaNo, the point is to do what you like anyway.

It would be so good to get even one story in some sort shape - like with beginning, middle and end. That's not much to ask, is it? Feels like it is, though.

Sigh. Well, I have a day off, goal is to write a good chunk of words today. Better go do that!
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I think I mentioned in January that I was going to do the whole 'weekly budget - only buy stuff in cash' thing I've tried last year as well, but I didn't manage it then. Now I have done that, but also marked 'no spend' days in my bujo, and that has worked really well. Because last time my downfall was the small, innocuous buys that I did without stopping to think - but with the chance of getting a 'no spend' day mark, I find it easier to just ignore the whimsy buys.

And I feel like I plan better, I find it easier to think ahead in a smaller scale - like, how much food will I need if I have two 'no spend' days next. I've tried to plan for a week, but that's too complicated for me, and it haven't worked. Two days seem to be the optimal size. I've still tossed some food in trash, but not as much as before - not throwing away any food is the end goal, and I think I'm getting there.

Camp is not going well, I keep waffling about the historical setting - to do it, not to do it, I keep changing it around - the story just doesn't want to settle. Sigh. It the second week block, I just have to keep pushing through!

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