I've been eyeing make up themed christmas calendars, and talking about them with my friend - mostly about how expensive they are, and what's the point if just you end up getting make up you don't like? Isnt' it smarter to just use the money, and buy stuff that you like, never mind the cute box? But then again, you want to be surprised, that's the draw really.

So, my friend came up with a great idea, where she'll collect me a "calendar" - I gave her a budget, a list of make up what I like and don't like, and let her loose on the shops! I can't wait what she will come up with :D I mean, it will be 100% more likely that I love everything my friend chooses for me, than some ready-made big brand box with same stuff for everyone, never mind your preferences. But it's still a surprise!

I should be careful with my money, since I bought a new winter jacket (yellow!), I need new shoes + I haven't had any luck finding an extra job for the christmas season like last year. But the idea of special calendar just for me was too much fun to resist - and I really need something fun to look forward to, since the end of the year isn't so fun usually.

I was considering NaNo, and I might try a day or two, but I don't like the new site (read: don't know how to use it now, and not interested enough to look into it) so I probably do it through my bujo or something like that. If I can come up some idea to work on...

Amazing, the sun is shining, I think I go for a walk!

Masterchef Australia is done, and I'm weirdly disappointed with the whole season. I basically lost all interest half-way through, and instead I've been marathoning the old favorite seasons, when the whole 10 season bundle came available here for free.

I don't know what bugged me so much about this season. The one who won, was clearly going to win. Not a problem as such, because the opposite is also true - there's always contestants that are clearly going to get cut first. Maybe what was missing was the solid middle back, that can rise or fall unexpectedly, which is what makes the show worth watching for 60 episodes. If there is a clear winner from the episode one, there is no contest. They could've just shoved the trophy to her, and save time and money.

There was also a whiff of, dare I say...favoritism? The winner was praised all the time by the three judges. That is unusual, because usually there's as much criticism as there is praise - but not this time. She was the best with everything, and even when she clearly failed, it was still perfect and delicious (and one time the dish wasn't even delicious, and she still won an immunity pin. WTF?)

Maybe she has such talent that everything she touches turns to gold, I don't know. But the problem is the same, no matter what the cause: there is no contest. What's exciting? There's no arch where the contests fail and grow and succeed, when you are strong from the start, you get praise all the way through no matter what, and then you win. It's blah!

This season was like mirror image of season 5, that was also a disappointment. That season no one had particular talent at all, they all stayed pretty much the same predictable level, and the winner was the one who failed just a smidgen less than the other. It was also blah! You need the right combination of failure and success! Having just one flavor is boring, it's just as true in cooking as its in tv-competitions.

It could be a problem with editing though, there was some episodes with really weird editing / camera work, so maybe there was something going on.
...And I just read the headlines, that the next season there is going to be new judges! Wonder if that was it, there's something happening in the background.

Still. I'm really disappointed, because I always look forward to a new season. Blah! No more!

I saw the Dark Phoenix trailer before the Endgame, and I was surprised that it's coming soon? Shows how out of the loop I am... And that Jessica Chastain is in it, though no clue what the character is - very nice hair though.

Have to see it, of course, though I have to admit that I have very vague idea what Dark Phoenix stuff is all about - big cosmic force, terrible destruction, that sort of thing?

Nothing new happening in my life, haven't written anything at all - and I just realized that my last fic posted was in summer 2017, so almost two years ago. Wow.
Maybe I need to face the fact that this writing hobby really isn't for me, or something... Though in all fairness, I have felt really depressed since January, like in the level of 'should I brave a doctor visit for some medication' type of feeling.

Something fun to look forward to - the new Masterchef AU season is starting on Monday! That was a surprise as well - maybe my sense of time is botched? Feels like I'm still stuck in the start of the year, but it's almost summer already.

Holy fuck that one person at work, she's really pushing my buttons. Mind, I haven't had a single shift with her, and I won't have to until my last day (good thing too), and yet.

She was back for her usual 'it's my day off, but here I am to drink free coffee for two hours' -thing, and so was our other part-timer (I mean, seriously, wtf), and for some reason they wanted to stand around exactly where I was busy working and gossip about something that had happened on Saturday shift, but in some oblique way - point being that I wouldn't understand what they were talking about (while standing right next to me, on purpose. And I mean right next to me, as in bumping my shoulder close). So, I asked what they were talking about, since I wanted them to either realize I was there and heard them, so they could either fuck off or shut up (preferably fuck off so I had room to work).

And this woman says to me: "We won't tell you, you are not part of our secret society".

I should have said: "Good, since this isn't a fucking kindergarten, this is a work place - where I'm actually working, and you are just spending time and slurping free coffee, so fuck right off."
But instead I just laughed and turned back to my work, because whatever. I get paid to work, not fix this mental asylum this shop is.

I never get upset in the moment, it's always the next day when I start getting angry for this type of bullshit, when I have time to think back and look at the situation at the distance.

Maybe first time ever, I'm really looking forward for the mad rush of customers, so I can just focus on them and ignore the co-workers, they are obviously the only source of stress this time around.

Two days behind in the new job, bit mixed feelings. Everyone seems nice and friendly, there's plenty of stuff to do (well, I just started doing things and no one objected, so...) but they have their own way of doing things that sometimes I have to wonder what is going on. Mostly because some practices go so against what I've been taught to be right, that I'm just baffled that someone would do that (for example, money in the cash register should always be in certain order and the bills facing right way up - basic sales stuff 101, right? Here they don't seem to care one way or other o.O It was all willy-nilly! Wtf?)

But I don't feel like I can point stuff out (and does it even matter, since I'll be there for what, six weeks? And the group has done things their way for years and years), so I've tried to bite my tongue. Ok, my anxiety flipped from that money thing, so I did kind of point out that money should be handled certain way - don't know if anyone listened though, because some time later I noticed someone had left the cash register half-closed so that money was showing but left the register area. Like... WTF?!? Sure, there was no customers at the moment, but really, if you do nothing else as a sales person, guard the fucking money, holy hell.

Uuh... The older I get, the more I want my own shop where I can do things the way I bloody well like, seriously. Too bad small shops are a dying breed, so not a smart career thing, this.

Anyways. I started NaNo just for the heck of it, and I have managed 1667 both days, yay :D If I get 5K today, I promised myself I can buy some make-up; maybe new lipstick even! Ooh :D

I've been doing very well on weekly budgeting - I finally found a way to mark everything on my bujo that works for me (and doesn't take ages, and doesn't make me feel bad if I forget). So I've been on track, and even going under my weekly goal!

Which of course means it's time for the Weird Spending Day! It always happens, and at first I tried to stop it and felt bad when I failed, because it felt like I had failed to whole budgeting idea. But now I'm trying to think it as necessary flexibility. Bit of out-of-budget spending is fine if I look it at the monthly level, as long as it's one time only, and I don't go overboard with it.

So September W.S.D. today, and I bought Deadpool 2 blu-ray, mango marmalade and a calligraphy pen! Yeah, I don't know either, that's the weird part of the spending day XD

And now to draft next month's bujo pages and watch Deadpool!

My landlord called to ask if I was available week from now for her to visit - she wants to "make a request face to face". So that's bloody ominous. >.< It's either: a) the rent is going up, or b) she's telling me to leave.

What else could it be? It's not like we have anything else to talk about (she lives across the country, and I pay my rent like clockwork, so we actually shouldn't have anything to discuss, let alone face to face.)

Fuck my life. I can't afford to pay much more, I'm already living very tightly (no new jobs in the horizon beside the bra shop) and I can afford even less to move! Not to mention autumn is the worst time to start looking for a new place in a Uni town, there's new students looking for flats everywhere! Oh it's going to be a mess, I'm getting anxious to even think about it.

And now I have to wait a week to see what she wants, fuck.

It has been a massive heat wave around these parts since June, and the weather forecast says that it might keep going well into the mid-August (it is the longest heatwave we have had since they started to keep of track of these things). So that's terrible.

But what's not terrible, is that I got a new job! It's just a part-time with very few hours (basically every Saturday + if the owner wants to take days off) but it's something! The store is next to my old store, and the owner just stopped when she saw me walking past, and asked if I was interested to do the weekend shifts for her - I have never been recruited like so, 'I seem alright sales person, come work for me' XD

So now I'm selling...*drum roll* Bras! :D Very different, but it's interesting to work with a completely new category of things. And I like it, now that I'm getting the hang of it!

And maybe if I could catch another part-time job, things would be alright-ish - except I'm afraid that everyone just wants a part-timer for the weekends - there is only so many hours in a one Saturday after all...
Well, hopefully I can find something.

Oh, and Camp Nano was a complete failure, I think I manage something like 1K and that was that :( Bugger.

Ah, the time of year when Finns start heading out to the summer cabins, and get down some serious drinking! (It's like Christmas, except we drink outside, instead inside). Then next week we get the reports how many people died in the traffic collisions, drownings, drunken foolery and overall random violence - heat wave, national holiday and cheap beer in the woods = not good.

Anyway, to keep with the pessimistic spirit, my job is officially gone (there is small possibility that the chain will open a new store, but honestly at this point, I doubt it). We'll have a final sale on Monday and hopefully we can sell the store empty, then it's just a question of clearing the space (it should be the chain's responsibility, but I'm suspect it will fall on us - though, if we get paid to tear down everything, I'll do it, no problem).

I made a list of different stores where to send a job applications, so I will get on that asap. So, after next week, I have been part of three final sales and closing down stores - that is perhaps something I shouldn't let my future employers know? XD I might be cursed o.O

I've signed up for Kink Bingo card, my yearly attempt to break through my porn writing block. So far it haven't worked, but I can't stop trying either. C'mon writing brain! Even 500 words of smut would do!

The Unconventional Courtship is also open, but the posting is in August so there isn't a big rush to sign up. It would be a good deadline if I chose a day now, though. Especially since 'Marriage of Rogues' (the UC Charles/Hank fic I wrote during Nano) is halfway rewritten, and if I just picked it up again, I could post it! Ooh...

Nothing new on the job front - things will move forward on the second week, and I hope we will know relatively soon if we are closing or not. And then...Who knows. I know I should prepare, but I'm just trying not to think about it too much.

Anyway. Writing projects! I'm trying to get excited /forced cheer